rebel yoga


The shivananda ashram, neyyar dam, southern kerala. lush surroundings- a natural preserve. mountains, hills, waterfalls, jungle, a lake with crocodiles, a park with lions (heard roaring through the valley at all times of the day, very cool). At sunrise, mist rising through the valley. At sunset, mist mixed with Hindu devotional songs from the village below rising through the valley, with a spectacular view of a huge pink ball descending amongst the bananaleaves.

The ashram is set here, in this wonder of nature's all wonders. He did a good job, the founder of the ashram, Swami Vishnu Devananda.

They did a good job in general, in this organisation, picking great locations throughout the world. This McDonalds organisation of a yoga school.

So Katja wanted an ashram experience. Linda wanted to go back to where her last India journey started to go the opposite way of what she had planned. Katja wanted to know what it was like, maybe pick up some good ideas. Linda wanted to see with her own eyes if it was her who had not agreed with the life in the ashram, or if it was the malaria that had made her feel sick. (of it, with it, by it, for it)

When Linda and Katja arrived, together with their new friend they had met in the train going there, Victoria, they stopped down the hill for some forbidden fruits. (extra protein, extra sugar, extra caffeine, extra nicotine)
On the way up the hill, in the scorching heat and with heavy luggage, Linda started complaining. What? Sick already? Yep. Lucky her, there was a house with perplexed locals outisde who finally agreed to her mimicking "can i pretty-please-please-please use your toilet? I love you very much always long time if i can!!"

Further up the hill all seemed fine. Katja loved the ashram, the natural beauty, the sunset. She thought Linda may have overreacted to the rules of the ashram due to the fact that she had been rather young when there, and also affected by the slowly progressing malaria she unknowingly had at the time. Linda agreed, yes, indeed, it is gorgeous here, peaceful beautiful, and yes indeed, she had been rather young, a slight bit rebellious, and ill.

All was good and fine for another 12 hours or so, until the first lecture started. It was extremely interesting to watch all the funnily-dressed young western spiritual seekers sitting uncomfortably on the floor, listening with either skeptical faces or mostly with incredibly fake holy, nodding, agreeing, (ridiculous, stupid) faces. Linda said to Katja on the walk back to the dorm, that she was not sure she could stomach this. These westerners coming here to learn this very hitler-like way of yoga-life, living in an ashram that discourages any form of free expression and indiviuality, where the sole goal of the practice is total equanimity. (read: OPPRESSION of ALL natural instincts, such as freedom of thought, speech, oppression of creativity, love and such other things that are actually the reason we all flourish and live on on this planet)

Katja was still quite happy, though her energy had shifted slightly to a more inward, more analytical mode.

Linda kept feeling ill. Like vomit was somehow gurgling her throat. But she kept telling herself that it must be psychological, because she does not agree with this system. (or any system, for that matter)

So the afternoon yoga asana class started, and Linda decided to rest and contemplate her resistance to this system, and think of what she could learn from now coming back to the same spot. Katja went to the class in the stifling heat of that afternoon.

Not long into Linda's contemplation did she start projectile vomiting. Actual, physical vomit, and it was not discreet, not was it just a slight needing of emptying of the stomach. It was a full-bodied, full-forced, loud, ravishing and brilliant emptying of her guts, of all its contents, and it went on for hours. As she tried to hold onto the walls of the bathroom, in between convulsions, she promised herself that she would never even TRY to fit into a system anymore. That she now knew why she had left; yes, she had been seriously ill that time, but if one believes in synchronicity or any other destiny-related thingy, then one might think there is a reason behind all of this.
As she returned to her bed and lay there totally weak and emptied, Katja returned from her afternoon class with fire in her eyes. Her energy was blazing and sparkling as she said "Let's get the hell out of this place, I cannot stand it!"

She proceeded to tell about the experiences she had had in the afternoon, including a somewhat heated exchange with a Latina Lady, an internal dance of irritation at the voice of the teacher we named "the Vegan" and a controlled standing up and walking away from a situation of injustice in the food hall which really would had required some serious discussions had she raised the matter loudly. Linda was proud of her for being so cool about it, but could see the rebel in her wanting OUT. She wished she could do something, but was unable to, in her sick-bed.

Big fat DETOX, man. good or bad? haha!

Unfortunately there was no way to escape as the vomiting girl had no way of moving except for to the auyrvedic residential doctor, who gave her a herbal tincture to drink- which came right back up with amazingly strong force a split second after being swallowed- along with several other pills and thingies. So Katja just had to deal with it and get on with it- which she managed to cool down and do, pretty well. However with the exception of creating her own schedule, skipping the classes she wanted to skip, going to classes she felt like going to.

A day later Linda felt better and plans were made for the great escape. Linda felt brilliant on the day of the planned departure, like a new human being, fresh and bright- and Katja was happy, refreshed, excited to go.

We DO continue to practice yoga each morning. In our own time, with our own routine, with goal of feeling great, thinking great, and keep being inspired to live this life TO THE MAXIMUM. even if that means falling, hurting ourselves, bleeding and crying sometimes. TRANSFORMATION, man, that's how you LEARN! NOT through sitting in a stupid ashram singing stupid songs, being hidden from the world, thinking you are enlightened! what the f'''k is enlightened anyway- just a word. enlightenment is for cowards who do not have the courage to face THIS LIFE.

have no fear for atomic energy....coz none of them can stop the time...ONE LOVE!!!!!!!!!!