i never thought my world could get this small

this boy is patiently waiting for the train to leave Varanasi Main Train station. December, 2009.
I was on an exciting journey with my soulsister Katja. I was chasing excitement, experience, moments, and most of all, photography opportunities.
We were about to embark on a three-day-trainjourney, of which I spent a huge part sleeping. Katja was reading Shantaram and the few moments I was awake, we discussed the book, and ate samosas, drank sweet chai, and chatted to our fellow passengers.
I relax so much when I'm on the road, I feel so good in my soul, so alive and free- and on a train-journey, this manifests in the weird way of me just sleeping, hours and hours, across a country, I sleep, and feel so incredible free, in that no-mans-land of travelling across a country. No responsibility, no computers, no mobile phone- nowhere to go, no distractions to hide beneath.
I saw this woman somewhere in Tamil Nadu and was fascinated by her silent, calm strength. Obviously old(er)- she was so small, strong, resilient. Her tiny body was carrying a heavy weight, and she blended into the humid, wet environment as perfectly as the palm-trees lining the horizon.
Did she ever leave her home village?
Did she ever want to?
Somehow, I really do not think so.
I was thinking about this fact a lot; how I travel across the world, to find peace. Why am I not content in my "home village"?
Or is it simply, that when we are presented with the opportunity to do something, we will, because we can?
Looking out the windows from a train, somewhere in India... I do get bored sometimes on a journey like this. But never bored to the point of manic restless, as I do back "home", because very soon, my mind realises that there is nothing else to do, than to stay here, stay where I am, and enjoy the journey.
So when represented with the opportunity to escape, diverge, and distract, is it only then, that we become restless, that our minds start to wander, which very soon leads to action?
If I had grown up like that woman, would I have been more content, more accepting of life- more able to enjoy the ride, without always being aware of all the other opportunities that I am constantly missing out on?

Maybe we all dream of other places, of something else, just different from what we have.
Some go after it, others accept what they have.
But life is a journey in both cases, and no one wins the race to the end.
I love travelling so much, precisely because of the feeling it gives me inside. A feeling of contentment in the moment, because there is not another option at that moment.
Funnily enough, this winter I have lived the absolute opposite of travelling across a country.
My world has never been more small.
I walk to work in 3 minutes.
I walk through the yard of my old high-school to get there. I even see my old school from my bedroom window.
I recently started teaching yoga again, at a gym.
The gym is housed in the very same building as my main job.
So again, I walk through the yard of my old highschool. It takes me 3 minutes.
I live, work, teach and sleep in the very area that I have grown up in. I move from A to B, B to A, in 3 minutes, and I see nothing but the same sights that I saw during my teenage years.

This is the first winter I spend in Sweden, in 9 years. And that winter 9 years ago, I kicked off with spending November in Tanzania & Zanzibar.
What's going on?

Changes, changes, changes. But only on the inside. I stopped my outside, I halted my dreams and my movements, and I stopped in what is to me the most uninspiring environment possible, to change my inside, to discover what really happens in there. To have absolutely no distraction to escape to in order to avoid facing myself, I have positioned myself here.
From A to B in 3 minutes. First time in 9 years.
In my home-village.


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