sad to leave, excited to go

i lived here for six months
today i packed all my belongings into a borrowed car
and closed this chapter
it was a rich one
where i faced a lot of fears
and learned to like myself as i am
i took a road less travelled to my parents place
and stopped along the way
i saw this mother and child
and watched them as they played in the sunny field
listening to birds song
barefoot on the empty road
just me and the horses
i saw my face in so many mirrors
through countries and places
space and time, getting older, but getting closer to myself every day
i like getting older
more experienced
appreciating more
loving stronger
in this land i was born and bred
so beautiful at the beginning of summer; sweet, light, promising
june, month of light and fertility
"The road in the valley"
sounds like a dirty old-ladies-novel to me.
but sweet, so sweet, this landscape, so soft and welcoming right at the beginning of summer
fields of green green grass of home
windpower and flat fields
this is what i miss when i am not here for a long time
the free-flowing fields, the flatness, the visibility, the space to breathe
rapeseed fields, so yellow it hurts the eyes
so fragrant
so...home
the earth inside, so soft and wet
i sank with my bare feet
into the rich soil
a new chapter beginning
right now in the nomansland of not paying rent, not having an address, sleeping on sofas and mattressess at friends and family
heading for a new life
but with a strong connection to my dream
myself
the end of a chapter, with all my belongings in an elevator
packing up to leave
leaving to begin
begining to love

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