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Showing posts from May, 2012

in that moment

i wrote a book and now i am more ready to die

I don't know if it will ever get published, but that is actually irrelevant, because I did it. It was my dream since i was 7 years old. To write a book. And this year, 2012, I did it. And now it's printed and it's a reality. It's no longer a dream. Each accomplished dream is an ambition that is dying. And I am one huge step closer to being ready to die, because I fulfilled a great dream. On the day I need to go, I will be accepting. I did what I wanted. I realised I had a short time to do what I want. Thanks to all the dying people I met in my life, especially through work, who taught me about dying. Dying peacefully is directly connected to having lived our dreams. 

ibiza makes me do strange things. and it makes me hear voices, too.

I mean, honestly. I never would have thought that I would have had to do the things I have had to do in Ibiza. Or not even HAD to but, but VOLUNTARILY have done. Strange, weird things happen in my life here. And the worst thing is, that I really DON'T MIND. Because the voice is telling me that I am love. 


At first, when I am faced with these things, my instant (ego) reaction is: NOOO! I don't DO those things!!---but then a second after, I hear this voice, coming from deep inside, saying: JUST TRUST. You will be fine. In fact, you are already looked after. You are taken care of. 
Schizophrenia, might be your first thought. Well, I thought so to, but that voice just kept speaking, in a soft, dark, and reassuring way. I kind of had to admit that the voice was right, too, as everything actually IS allright. 
So I've had to do some weird shit. Like driving a 30-year-old car that kinda brings new adventures each time. Yesterday it ran out of petrol in the middle of the street, beca…

Can Dream House

reflections, mirrors and meeting ourselves in the eye of the other

It's a known fact that we project unto the other what we dislike in ourselves. It's so much easier to blame others for being a certain way, and to suggest to them to change this. But the truth is that this is most probably something we need to work on in ourselves. 



Looking myself in the eye in the mirror is one thing. But seeing myself through the mirror which is held up by a fellow soultraveller is a whole different experience. My fellow soultraveller might tell me things about myself that I really do not wish to see. 



It can be so hard to accept who we are, at times. Especially if part of who we are is something we are denying, or have been forming lies to ourselves about, during a whole lifetime. 
The meeting with another brings up truth. The true mirror is held up in front of us inside our closest relationships.



But it is here, inside te deepest love, inside the family, that we can face ourselves. Inside this cocoon of real love, we have the safety and the trust to face the t…