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Showing posts from March, 2013

3 days til due date

I do this a lot. Sit in meditation or just sit. Watching the flowers and the clouds and listen to the sounds of the spring. Life is bursting and exploding all over the place and it seems to make sense that a human being would be born into this time of the year. Colourful, warm and welcoming. Fragrant fresh air.
 These flowers smell amazing. I often stop here and sit under this tree after taking Xucla for a slow walk.
 I wear leggings, the only thing that fits me. I looked at a pair of my jeans the other day. Size 26-32. They looked like a joke, or something for a Barbie doll. I'm kind of skinny normally, I guess. Now I'm kind of huge. I put on 16 kilos and 3 of them in only the last week. My legs are double the size they normally are. Full of fluids and extra stuff. Heavy. Baby is kicking and moving but the movements are different. Baby doesn't have very much space anymore. Growing too big for this spaceship of a body.
The pool is starting to look tempting, finally. It&#…

39 weeks and 1 day

Oohps. I just realised i forgot the appointment I had with the midwife today.
Babybrains Bigtime.
Woke up at 10, lazy morning. Every day is slow, silent, meditative. Little dog & catwalks, picking flowers, having coffee.
I will just go there tomorrow at the same time and pretend I thought it was for Wednesday. I called to try and make a new appointment but the first one, they said, is on the 15th of April. I hope that by then I will have given birth and will be happily Babybrains together with Baby.
I'll just go tomorrow with my excuse and I'm sure she'll squeeze me in.
Just did a yoga nidra session. It worked far better for me than the hypnobirthing I've been doing. Maybe coz I know yoga nidra from many years of practicing it. I'm not sure I believe in hypnobirthing. I know I believe in yoga nidra. It's all in the mind anyway. If we believe that something works, it does work. If we don't believe...

Time to stand on my head. I hope the heartburn wi…

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Pregnant Week 39

Pregnancy Photography Shoot

Pregnant Week 38

Space, surrender, let go

38 weeks and one day.
I didnt sleep much last night.
It was very hard to get out of the bed. The physical effort, I mean.
Coffee, porridge made with oats, almonds, cranberries, dates and soya milk.
A few things to do.
Hospital, shopping.
Lunch at home and my now there isn't much energy left.
A restless rest. Uncomfortable.
Uncomfortable knowing there's things to do.
Slow walk with my xucla. What normally takes half an hour to walk now takes at least one hour.
Practicing space, practicing letting go, practicing surrender. In my body, in my soul, in my heart, in my life.
Waiting, preparing.
Less of everything.
More space.
More surrender.

38 weeks

Everyone tells me my belly is so small
I see it too
Compared to others who are also this close
My belly is very small
The midwife says the baby is normal
As long as my baby is normal I'm happy
I don't have to be normal
As long as my baby has ten fingers ten toes
One heart two lungs
One nose two eyes
And all organs in the right place
I'm happy

37 weeks and 4 days

Im watching the sun go down with a cat on my left, a dog on my right, and an unborn being inside me. We've just been for a walk, all 4 of us.
Noam is in Barcelona buying a new car. I took him to the airport this morning and as we drove along the highway we were admiring the sunrise.
Days when you see both the sunrise and the sunset are special.
The beginning and the end.
Full circle.
It doesn't matter what's in between.
It's been beautiful to see the light and the clouds and the colours.
The moon is appearing; it is a tiny crescent.
Noam says maybe I'll give birth on the full moon.
It's time to go inside. It's getting cold- even with the added bonus heated body temperature that I'm blessed with lately.
Bona Nit.

37 weeks and 2 days

I went to see the midwife today.
I have put on 13 kilos.
My iron is very low.
The heartbeat is 130 per minute.
I'm living in a cocoon of sleep, home, walks, yoga, swimming, cooking and baking.
I'm not seeing much people. I'm very internal.
I like it.
I'm going inside.
I haven't bought any things for the baby.
I'm not preparing with things.
Only internal, inside me.
A lot of together-time with my love. Sharing the journey. I like it.
That's my preparation.
Cocoon. I like that word.
My baby is also in a cocoon.
The cocoon inside my body, my body in a cocoon surrounding my existence.
Finding strength inside me.
Where the only real strength exists.

Monday Walk

The sun is shining, it's windy, there are new flowers everywhere and I'm walking my beautiful xucla around the house. I'm clumsy and big and can't wait to go swimming later today in the public swimming pool in San Antonio. Weightless!

Pregnant Week 37

pregnant week 36: my week in ibiza