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Showing posts from January, 2015

Birthday Blues

I just find it one of the most powerful days of the year. 
The Birthday. 
It seems to signify so much; what I do, who I'm with, how I feel, where I am, what I'm thinking of, what my focus is. 
As my birthday is right after the new year, it feels more like the New Year to me. It is the start, a fresh beginning, that I feel strongly about and that I always lose my temper on, burst into tears, feel grateful, happy, love the attention, you name it. All the range of feelings come up and I can't hide from them. It feels raw and vulnerable. 
I always think I want to do something special on my day, and I never end up doing anything special. Just the Day in itself IS special and if I allow it to flow and flow with it, it seems to have great meaning and power for the year ahead. 
I have to admit to having a lot of anxiety around this day. The feeling of time passing is too urgent, it scares me. I'm way too aware of it. 
This year more so than ever. Life and time seems to be passing fa…