India's chaotic lesson in letting go

"The hotel clerk took pity on me, pointing out that in Hindi, the word for tomorrow is the same as the word for yesterday. I began to see that I needed to let go of my rigid expectation of time as something linear and immutable, and I needed to relinquish the illusion of control."

Just found this article on the BBC News website  which rings so true to me and probably most India-travellers. 

The reason everyone has a love-hate relationship with this country is exactly this; you surrender to India's chaos, and you learn so much about the art of letting go. 

All questions are answered yes AND no. All questions for directions are pointed in different, vague directions. Tomorrow and yesterday are both (and all) non-existent and blurry, because This Moment is all we really have. 

Last time I left India, I'd had more than enough. First time, it nearly killed me with malaria and salmonella, changed my whole direction in life and most of all, changed me. Second time I went to work on a dream (which has had to be put on hold) but I grew too frustrated with being stuck in the thick fogs that were covering the north of the country at that time, so I left earlier, saying what I thought was "goodbye India!! not sure I'll ever see you again... not sure I'm happy or unhappy about it either!" but coming back with a library of amazing photography from Varanasi, that magical place that never stops fascinating me with its rotten smell of death and mesmerizing hazy incense-filled air.

Looks like I will go back. Looks like its just part of my life journey. This time to Goa, with my two children, and husband. I wonder what part of me it will frustrate this time? And what I'll learn about myself?


Popular Posts