Don't know if Frida Kahlo really said this... but now I understand her better
...but she definitely represented those words. And I need to make them mine.
"Fall in love with you.
And later with whoever you want"
"Sometimes you have to
forget what you feel
what you deserve"
On another note, something interesting has happened. I'm about to get close to my 6-year-anniversary of living in Spain. The longest I lived in another country (except my native Sweden of course) is the U.K., where I lived for 5 years total. The difference is however that those five years in the U.K. were so broken up by visits to other places and long-terms stays in for example the US, Sri Lanka and Sweden, that actually that time was more colourfully patched up and stitched up and more fluid.
I'm about to get close to my 6 year anniversary of living in Spain. One year in Barcelona, and five in Ibiza.
And in the last two weeks, something happened with my Spanish. I fucking finally started feeling comfortable speaking it. It's flowing easily from my brain through my tongue out of my lips, and it's coming in a steady flow, without hesitations. I can't believe it had to take me that long. When I moved to London at the age of 21, only after a few weeks, I started dreaming in English. I guess that is what happens when you start studying a language at the age of 9, rather than much later, as an adult. It just doesn't enter the brain as easily, and much less is it easy to start using it.
I think my Spanish will always be at a certain low scale level. I've accepted that. But it feels like my low level is finally in its prime usage; before I struggled to get it from the brain through to the lips. I hesitated and looked for the right words and the right grammar and expressions.
6 long years for the brain to relax about it, wow. I'm so happy for my children to grow up with so many languages from day 1. They have Swedish from me, Hebrew from their father, English between me and their father, Spanish as the official language of their country and the language they speak with their friends starting at nursery age 1, and then the local language Catalan starting from age 3 in public school.
They will have a whole different capability to use and learn languages.